I tried my hand at reading three new poems, that I’ve written over the last year, at The English Bookshop in Gothenburg last Friday evening. My teacher Linda Ghaderi at Linneaus University invited her students and others to open mike night. Also reading some poems, besides Linda Ghaderi and myself, was poet Tom Madeley. I’m publishing one of the poems here. Enjoy!
Measured
This is how much space I take up in this world
On the outside: 178 centimetres
Overweight in any kind of units
Hair’s a mess, can’t seem to make an appointment
Let’s not mention the scars.
I can’t grasp my voice. Still I’m singing
As if my life hung in the balance
With the gravitas of some untold hymn
The cathedral reverberates with my croaks.
This is how much space I take up in this world
I have three weekly sessions
Apart from that, I am trying
For another version of my best.
Finding my footing
Searching for laurels to rest on
In these uncomfortable times.
This is how much space I take up in this world
I’m forty-seven years old
Trying out oestrogen patches
Too late to regret
Not having kids.
Instead I grow coarse black hairs
On my shins
Where there used to be
Few, light, far-between downs
Easy to remove.
This is how much space I take up in this world
I have the humongous boobs of my forebears
They sure suited my grandma better
I accepted them on my mother, too
Though I always thought they should get better bras.
Now my breasts weigh me down
With the gravitas of unwanted glances
Of how do I look in this dress/shirt/blouse
Do I look like I’m begging for it
‘Cause I’m sure as hell not
Just trying to get home in peace/in one piece
To the place where I feel close to safe
Where I might lock the door behind me
And offend noone.
Cathrins bokskåp 